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Women's English
- Yes = No
- No = Yes
- Maybe = No
- I'm sorry = You'll be sorry
- We need = I want
- It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now.
- Do what you want = You'll pay for this later
- We need to talk = I need to complain
- Sure... go ahead = I don't want you to
- I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, you moron!
- You're... so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot
- You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?
- Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs
- This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house
- I want new curtains = ... and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper
- Hang the picture there = NO, I mean hang it there!
- I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep
- Do you love me? = I'm going to ask for something expensive
- How much do you love me? = I did something today you're really not going to like
- I'll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV
- Is my butt fat? = Tell me I'm beautiful
- You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me
- I'm not yelling! = Yes I am yelling because I think this is important
Men's English
- I'm hungry = I'm hungry
- I'm sleepy = I'm sleepy
- I'm tired = I'm tired
- Do you want to go to a movie = I'd eventually like to have sex with you
- Can I take you out to dinner = I'd eventually like to have sex with you
- Can I call you sometime = I'd eventually like to have sex with you
- May I have this dance? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you.
- Nice dress! = Nice tits!
- You look tense, let me give you a massage = I want to fondle you
- What's wrong? = I guess sex tonight is out of the question
- I'm bored = Do you want to have sex?
- I love you = Let's have sex now
- I love you, too = Okay, I said it... We'd better have sex now!
- Yes, I like the way you cut your hair = Okay, I said it... We'd better have sex now!
- Let's talk = I am trying to impress you by showing that I am a deep person and maybe
then you'd like to have sex with me
- Will you marry me? = I want to make it illegal for you to have sex with other guys
- (While shopping): I like that one better = Pick any fucking dress and let's go home and
have sex!
- I don't think that blouse and that skirt go well together = I am a closeted homosexual
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