A LONG, LONG TIME AGO
IN A GALAXY FAR AWAY

THE REPUBLIC LIES SCATTERED AFTER THE LACK OF PARODIES THAT HAS TORMENTED THE GALAXY FOR QUITE SOME TIME. MON MOTHRA SENT FORTH 3 OF THE BRAVEST MEN TO THE DEEP FORREST OF KASHYYYK, NONE OF THEM RETURNED WITH NON-WOOKIE JOKES AND KNEW A SPECTACULAR RAISE OF JAR-JAR BINKS JOKES. THE REPUBLIC WAS ASTOUNDED BY SUCH A FACT AND ORDERED THE 3 JEDI KNIGHTS TO GO TO PLANET EARTH AND INVESTIGATE A SUPERIOR SERIE OF MOVIES CALLED LORD OF THE RINGS.

THE STAR WARS UNIVERSE SEEMED TO HAVE DIED EVER SINCE THE RELEASE OF THE LATEST MOVIES IN WHICH OBI-WAN KENOBI AND DARTH MAUL WERE THE ONLY GOOD THINGS. THOUGH THE CLONE WARS WERE PRETTY COOL TOO.

FURTHER INVESTIGATION OF THE 3 JEDI KNIGHTS LED TO THE ASSUMPTION THAT A DARK SITH LORD MUST BE SPYING AT THE VATICAN. AS THEIR INVESTIGATION PROCEEDED, NONE OF THEM RETURNED SOBER...

Escape before any of the drunk men comes after you and makes you dance with him