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Application for permission to date my daughter

If you're a father, and you have a daughter, please feel free to print out this page and make as many copies as you'll need to distribute to potential suitors of "Daddy's Little Girl". It's very handy...not to say very effective!

Note: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless
accompanied by a complete financial statement, work history,
lineage, and current medical report from your doctor.

1.  Name: ......................................                DOB:  ...........................

2.  Height: ..............  Weight: ..............  I.Q.: ............  GPA: .....................

3.  SSAN: ...................  Bank Account #: ................PIN #: ........

4.  Highest Boy Scout Rank Attained? ......................................

                Year Attained:  .......... 

                Troop Leader's Name:  ......................

5.  Home Address:  ..............................................

                Telephone:  ............................

                E-mail Address:  ....................

6.  Do you have one MALE and one FEMALE parent?


                ..........................

                If no, explain:


                ................................................

7.  Do you own...

                A van?  ........  A motorcycle? ............

                Truck with oversized tires? .............

                Waterbed?  ...... Do you have an earring?  .......

                Nose ring? ........  Belly button ring? ...../...

                Note:  if the answer is YES to any part of Question 7,
                discontinue application and leave premises.

8.  In 50 words or less, what does LATE mean to you? 

                ................................................

                ................................................

9.  In 50 words or less, what does DON'T TOUCH MY
                DAUGHTER mean to you?
                ................................................

                ................................................

10.  In 50 words or less, what does ABSTINENCE mean to you?
                ................................................

                ................................................

11.  Church attended?  ........................

                How often?  ................

12.  When would be the best time to interview your...

                Mother?  ..........  Father?  .......... 

                Pastor/Priest?  ..........

13.  Answer the following section by filling in the blank.  Please
                answer freely...all answers are confidential.  (That means
                that I won't share with other fathers...unless provoked!)

                A:  If I were shot, the last place on my body I would want
                to be wounded is my:

                ................................................

                B:  If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken is
                my:

                ................................................

                C:  A woman's place is in the:

                ................................................

                D:  The one thing I hope this application doesn't do is:

                ................................................

                E:  When I meet a girl, the first thing I notice is her:

                ................................................

                (Note:  If the above answer starts with "T" or "A"
                discontinue application and leave premises, keeping low to
                the ground in a serpentine fashion.)

15.  What do you want to be IF you grow up?

                ................................................

I SWEAR THAT ALL INFORMATION SUPPLIED ABOVE IS
TRUE AND CORRECT TO THE BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE,
UNDER PENALTY OF DEATH, DISMEMBERMENT, NATIVE
AMERICAN ANT TORTURE, CRUCIFIXION, ELECTROCUTION,
CHINESE WATER TORTURE, HILLARY CLINTON/JANET RENO
KISS TORTURE, AND RIP-THE-STEREO-FROM-MY-CAR TORTURE.


........................................
Signature (that means sign your name!)


Thank you for your interest.  Please allow four to six years for
processing.  You will be notified in writing if you are approved.
Please do not attempt to call or write...it will only delay the
process.

For office use only:  File .......  Destroy  .......  Kill  .........


Dernière mise à jour le vendredi 10 novembre 2017