Great excuses for being dismissed

"I got a shooter"

"It cut back a mile"

"I wasn't ready"

"I never touched it"

"The keeper took the bails off with his gloves"

"I was miles in"

"Look at the mark on my elbow, that's where it hit me"

and arguably the best of the lot from young Van der Kerkoff on tour in Gatehouse of Fleet :

"It must have hit a worm"