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Humour |
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Shock and awe on a shoestring January 2009 – An Iraqi journalist expressed his contempt for
President Bush in a manner familiar in the Arab world: by throwing his shoes.
Read on The great Santa controversy January 2009 – It’s the western world’s greatest childhood
controversy: does Santa Claus exist? The answer is both comforting and
disturbing to the children among us and within us. Read on What’s the difference between Obama and an Arab? November 2008 – John
McCain has furnished compelling proof that Barack Obama is not an Arab: the Democrat is a family man. Read on Ramadan for drinkers November 2008 – With
booze in short supply, the month of fasting can be a thirsty wait for some
Muslims. Read on Inverting the pyramids September 2008 – The world isn’t short on wacky theories about UnPrezidented August
2008 – If Barack Obama
were a pop star, he would be a jazz musician or a rapper, not a Britney
Spears. And to prove it, he should release an election rap. Read on And in other Muslim news August
2008 – A recent survey found that two-thirds of media coverage of British
Muslims was negative. The time is ripe for other news. Read on Mo-town record August
2008 – Twenty thousand Muhammads in one place is not
a world record, it is an everyday reality. Read on Why Muslims don’t pig out July 2008
– Muslims may sing odes to alcohol and even abandon religion, but pigs will fly
before most will allow pork to pass their lips. Read on The Big Sneeze May 2008
– Hay-fever season is coming early this year. It's time for sufferers to
ready for battle - but finding effective relief is no sneezing matter. Read on Extinguishing old flames May 2008
– Like someone who hitches up with a despised old flame after years apart,
I'm kicking myself for having taken up smoking again. Read on Ad lib March
2008 – Want to fulfil your dreams and be happy? Why not ad
liberate yourself today? Now available in convenient 30-second doses.
Beware of side effects. Read on Sheikh with laughter December
2007 – With Osama bin Laden unlikely to branch out into comedy, it’s
important to give westerners a taste of Muslim humour. Read on Inside
an American harem November
2007 – Forget the ‘mystical’ East. In the 21st century, the harem
meets the American dream. Read on Femme caramel October
2007 – A film set in a X Pat
meets Spock’s parents January
2007 – X Pat is invited to a Star Trek convention but winds up in a maternity
ward where he midhusbands an infant half Vulcan. Read on X Pat:
Do not release until Xmas December 2006 – It’s nearly Xmas and X Pat finds himself in the most
delicious quandary of his life. Read on
Virgin vote at the
ballot box
October
2006 – Khaled Diab gives
up his electoral chastity and gets a taste of political participation. Read on X Pat and the
chocolate factory
September 2006 – X Pat, the xpat xtraordinaire and xample world
citizen, in his quest to come to terms with his first name winds up behind a
deranged genius’s chocolate bars. Read on
X Pat: Quantum
leaps, beer and knitting
August 2006 – X Pat, the xpat xtraordinaire and xample world
citizen, invites Diabolic Digest readers to join him on an absurdist
tour of the Belgian sociosphere. Read on
The beautiful game
as a political football
July 2006
– Kofi Annan would like
the UN to become more like the FIFA World Cup. While there is something to be
said for the beautiful game’s potential for uniting people and resolving
conflicts bloodlessly, it might be premature to scrap the UN and replace it
with a football From nature to naturalisation
July
2005 – This month, Not a love letter to the Egyptian president January
2005 – Faced with the grim prospects of prolonged political virginity, Khaled Diab decides to make
President Mohamed Hosni Mubarak
an indecent proposal. Read on Remembering the Sultan of Style December
2004 – Ziryab is a name you’re unlikely to have
come across. One sensible reason for this is that the guy died over a
millennium ago. But his single-handed moulding of modern tastes should earn
him a place in fashion’s Hall of Fame. Read on More Beyoncé for our
bucks October
2004 – Some may regard Beyoncé as a child of
destiny, but does she deserve $3 million for a day spent reclining on a sofa?
Sex certainly sells, but Khaled Diab
thinks the price is getting too high – the time has come to put in place a maximum
wage, he argues. Read on
An air of terror
November
2003 – The suggestion that I could strike fear into anyone’s heart would reduce
people I know to quivering heaps of uncontrollable laughter. It’s not that –
as a regular gym-goer – I’m especially weedy, but even our cat, who has been
known to hide in the washing machine to avoid guests, does not find me
intimidating enough to get out of my bleary-eyed path on the staircase in the
morning. Read
on The threat of depleted geraniums
June 2003 –
American and British forces have so
far failed to find any WMD in Iraq, but Khaled Diab has stumbled across a nightmare cache of biological
weapons right on his Brussels' doorstep. The intrepid journalist risks life
and limb to report on how stopping to smell the flowers can be a dangerous
affair. Read on
A church wedding
November
2002 – Marriage is truly in the air. With High noon at the last chance saloon
October 2002 – It’s high
noon. The sun is beating down mercilessly on the tin roofs of a generic
one-horse town. Inside the smouldering saloon, Dubya
the Kid slots the last silver bullet into his patent revolver. Read on
Walking like an Egyptian
May 2002
– The Bangles, a long forgotten 1980s girl band, will always be remembered by
an Egyptian teenager who suffered untold playground trauma provoked by their
unfounded hit theory on how to identify his fellow countrymen through a
peculiar national trait. Read on The kelabgi March
2000 – We Egyptians regard meat with a certain intimacy and affection. No
dinner table is quite complete without it. We even have a word for a meal
that’s missing that essential ingredient: “Urdihey,”
many a husband has complained. Read on Trouble in the Balkans
January
2000 – Indirect flights can be cheaper, but they can also be gruelling. Khaled Diab came from A severe case of amnesia I am in
my dark office. It is nearing the end of my day. Another long, fruitless day
spent waiting for that elusive creature – a case. It has been several months
since my last one and that was a simple case of abandonment by a son of a
bitch – literally. I was commissioned by this lady to find the dog who walked out on her. Read on Ambush Somewhere
in the sprawling metropolis the mob lies in wait. Ready for the ambush.
Concealed in the consuming crowds. Unbeknown to the naked eye, but we know
they are there – a brooding swarm itching to pounce. Read on |
ã2008 – Khaled Diab.
Unless otherwise stated, all the content on this website is the copyright of Khaled Diab.