The Official Neutrophil Webpage

Real Ultimate Power

Hi, this site is all about neutrophils, REAL neutrophils. This site is awesome. My name is Kris and I just can't stop thinking about neutrophils. These cells are cool; and by cool, I mean totally sweet.


1.    Neutrophils are polymorphonuclear leukocytes.
2.    Neutrophils ingest bacteria ALL the time.
3.    The purpose of the neutrophil is to flip out and kill bacteria.

Weapons and gear:

Phagosomes                       Myeloperoxidase

     Hypochlorous acid (HOCl)


Neutrophils can kill every bacterium they want (except for Shigella and some other cunts)! Neutrophils phagocytose bacteria ALL the time and they don't even think twice about it. These leukocytes are so good at chemotaxis and awesome that they flip out ALL the time. I heard this neutrophil was attracted to an inflamed wound. And when some bacterium got C3b on its cell surface the neutrophil killed all the bacteria in that wound. My friend Mark said he saw a neutrophil totally opsonize and engulf some pulmonary inoculum of bacteria just because the kid opened a window!

And that's what I call REAL Ultimate Power!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

If you don't believe that neutrophils have REAL Ultimate Power you better get a life right now or they will phagocytose all the bacteria in your colon, including the good ones!!! It's an easy choice, if you ask me.

Neutrophils are sooooooooooo sweet that I want to crap my pants. I can't believe it sometimes, but I feel it inside my heart. These polymorphonuclear cells are totally awesome and that's a fact. Neutrophils are fast, granular, flexible, metabolically active, powerful, and sweet. I can't wait to start immunohistochemical analysis on them. I love neutrophils with all of my body (including my pee pee).

Q and A:.

Q: Why is everyone so obsessed about neutrophils?
A: Neutrophils are the ultimate paradox. On the one hand they don't dinstiguish between any of the bacteria, but on the other hand, neutrophils are only present in areas of inflammation.

Q: I heard that neutrophils are always producing oxygen radical and destroying healthy tissue. What's their problem?
A: Whoever told you that is a total liar. Just like other phagocytic cells, neutrophils can be a source of endogenous oxidative stress OR totally awesome.

Q: What do neutrophils do when they're not ingesting any bacteria or flipping out?
A: Most of their short lifespan is spent in the circulation, but sometime after they released all their granules they get phagocytosed by macrophages. (Ask Mark if you don't believe me.)

This is a picture of a neutrophil engulfing a parasite.
You can see a part of the multilobular nucleus,
which is bragable.

Find more crap like this: